"i'm alright" - it rings hollow on nights like this.

its a helplessness that engulfs you when you don't see anyone else beside you, behind you. the things i do to alleviate this feeling sometimes surprises me. i reach out to people i never thought i would ever reach out to, cling on to symbols that remind me of a better past or a hopeful future.

i wish that i could throw everything away and catch that bus and meet you there. if there was any one single defining moment that i miss, it was that night of youthful exuberance, of throwing caution to the wind and escaping to the magical place of me and you.

as much as i know what we're inching towards and even as the optimist in me is coiled up with excitement, the cynical being that has come to define my youth keeps telling me that it may all be for naught. self-fulfilling prophecies of despair i wish you gone but i keep you close as the sorrow i derive from your potential unraveling fuels the determination to prove you wrong.

tonight and nights past, i miss you so. alas these nights are my dearest and most loyal companions.