Monday, October 27, 2008
3:28 am
before you get angry and start cursing,
before you lament of your missed opportunities,
before you cry out at the injustices in your life;
look at what you are leaving behind if today was the last day of your life.
is that your legacy? the constant ranting and feelings of frustration. the bitching and scowling and hoping that "they" fail. is that my legacy?
how much of this life is actually "ours"?
i've come to this conclusion - savour every experience and devote yourself to the love of your lives, whatever or whoever it may be.
we've been brought up in a community of negativity and cynicism. i'm full of that myself. even as i'm writing this i wonder who would snicker and make a pun out of that last sentence. this "hatred" of sorts tires me.
at the end of the day when you take your last breath, what do you want to be remembered for?
for now i just want to fulfill my responsibilities as the son my parents hoped so much for, i owe them that and much more. if that's all i'm remembered for i think i'll take it.
this is a very fragmented and possibly incoherent entry. can't be helped because that's the state of my mind right now - more to do with the time than anything else. i just felt a need to write.
i need to do something inspiring.
-dib- at 3:28 AM
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
tanjong gemok
a dream
that's what i had.
the one that justifies the endless waiting.
come end october i'll wake up. the next step is to wait a little more as you yearn for something even harder to grasp.
the funny thing is, i do enjoy the solitude. only when i let other factors influence my pretty solid pragmatism do i falter. since the second-coming though i've stood pseudo-tall against all that.
belief.
there are few things i believe in. my faith in my fellow man though has taken a beating. every man for himself. that's a sad way to live. despite the cut-throat nature of things everywhere, i still feel a certain sense of... pity? i don't know what to call it but i just can't comprehend how selfish people can be in general. i won't delve into any details though lest i be judged, because despite of my declarations otherwise, i will be affected by what people think or say.
anybody would.
that's why we breathe and eat and sleep and ultimately die. humans.
selamat hari raya semua.
-dib- at 3:45 AM